牛牛英语幽默记四单词(转自英语幽默网站www.humorenglish.cn
Accent
I once knew a fellow who spoke a dialect with an accent.
我以前认识一个带口音说方言的人。
注：方言肯定是有口音的，字面上自相矛盾。
活学活用：He speaks the Sichuan dialect with an accent.
他说四川话时有口音。
The twentieth century is only the nineteenth speaking with a slightly American accent.
二十世纪只是略带一点美国口音的十九世纪。
注：二十世纪美国崛起，英国没落，大概就是这样。
Accompany
Expression of undying[地老天荒] affection are never ridiculous when they are accompanied by diamond.
地老天荒的爱的表白如果有珠宝相伴从来都不荒谬。
Accomplish
Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.
成就：11年读完中学
注：除非你做出了特别的事迹，否则不要在你的简历里写这样的话。
It is often woman who inspires us with the at things that she will prevent us from accomplishing.
女人总是激励我们干大事，又是她们阻碍我们去实现。
注：希望男人成就事业，又希望男人在家多陪她。
Telling lies is a fault in boys, an art in a lover, accomplishing in a bachelor, and second nature in a married woman.
男孩子说谎是错误，情人说谎是艺术，单身汉说谎是才艺，已婚女人说谎是第二天性。
注：我们谁都说过谎，善意的不伤害别人的谎言是可以接受的。
You guys are the smartest, most accomplished, and greatest people I’ve ever met in my whole life!
你们是我见过的最聪明，最有才艺，最伟大的人。
注：这么夸人太露骨了，不过很多人都爱听，不妨多说。Ass kissers
Account
要准确详尽地叙述那段历史根本用不着我这杆妙笔生花的笔。
To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.
注：意思是“杀鸡焉用宰牛刀，我是大文豪，没有时间写那些东西”。
活学活用：To give an accurate and articulate account of your merits would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.
要准确详尽地叙述你的优点根本用不着我这杆妙笔生花的笔。
When I arrived in Paris fourteen years ago I had only one piece of luggage. I left with 34 pieces of luggage. I still had only one pieces of luggage; my wife’s clothes accounted for the others.
十四年前我到巴黎时，只带着一个箱子，现在我离开时带着34个箱子，我自己仍然只有一个箱子，其它箱子里面都是我太太的衣服。
注：他仍然算一个成功人士，太太的满足就是丈夫的成就。
So far I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
到目前为止我还没有听说过谁因为费用问题而想要停止生活。
注：在中国有一些，有因为孩子上不起学自杀的。
There’s no accounting for taste, as the women said when somebody mentioned that her son was wanted by the police.
人和人的口味是不一样的，（例如）当女人说有人告诉她警察想要（通缉）她儿子时。
注：want：想要；通缉。
Accountant
An accountant’s idea of excitement is sharpening a bundle of No.2 pencils……
会计们关于兴奋的概念就是削尖一根2号铅笔……
注：会计职业很枯燥，削铅笔是最让他们兴奋的事情了。
accumulate
University is full of knowledge; the freshmen bring a little in and the seniors take none away, and knowledge accumulates.
大学里到处是知识，新生带进来点儿，毕业生什么也不带走，知识就积累了下来。
注：这是一种貌似合乎逻辑的推理思维。
Accuracy
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
我不介意说谎，但我恨不精确。
注：自相矛盾，“说谎”是扭曲事实，比“不精确”要严重。但有时候夸张的说谎就是为了让人一眼识破，纯粹为了好玩儿，而“不精确”却可能会让人相信一些错误的数字。
Accurate
要准确详尽地叙述那段历史根本用不着我这杆妙笔生花的笔。（重复）
To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.
How accurate is our misinformation.
我们的错误信息是多么精确。
注：美国炸中国驻前南斯拉夫大使馆借口是“信息错误”，这是多么精确的错误信息。
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
唯一比敌方炮火还准确的是友军的炮火。
注：人们总结了几条《海湾战争定律》，这是其中一条。没被伊拉克炮火打中，却经常被友军炮火击中。
accuse
Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
被起诉前千万不要辩护或道歉。
注：这可能是律师最希望的，希望大家不要道歉和解，最好都走上法庭。
I’m not satisfied with my present condition, but I don’t want to accuse anyone.
我对现状并不满意，但我不想起诉谁。（凭什么起诉别人？）
Accustomed
Unaccustomed as she was to seeing my father in the role of wounded hero, my mother rose to the occasion when he was carried in, and acted as any brave woman would. She fainted.
母亲还不习惯看到父亲以受伤英雄的角色出现，父亲被抬进来时，母亲随机应变，象任何勇敢的母亲都会做的那样，她晕倒了。
注：也可以这么说“看见父亲被抬进来，母亲晕倒了。”比例句的话简洁，但不如那么说好玩儿。
Unlike you, I am not accustomed to lying.
我和你不一样，我不习惯说谎。
注：如果对着一个经常说谎的人这么说就不幽默，但如果和一个好朋友开玩笑这么说，就有幽默感了。
I only work here ause I've become accustomed to certain luxuries .... eating and living indoors.
我只在这儿工作，因为我已经习惯了某种奢华的生活…在室内吃住。
活学活用：I've become accustomed to certain luxuries, for example, sunbathing.
我已经习惯过某种奢侈的生活了，比方说晒太阳。
（现代人懒洋洋地晒太阳已经成为奢侈生活了）
Acknowledge
Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw your teachers off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
总是坦白地承认自己的错误，这会让你的老师放松警惕，你就能获得犯更多错误的机会。
注：这是一些爱动脑筋的嘎学生总结的。
Acquaintance
You have the privilege of catching your girlfriend in the arms of your acquaintances.
你有在你熟人的怀里抓住你女朋友的特权。
注：但你希望没有机会使用这种特权。
An acquaintance is a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
所谓熟人就是我们足够熟悉，可以从他那儿借东西，但又不是很熟，不能把东西借给他。
注：我就把你当成熟人。
Acquire
Sir, I’m very sympathetic to your problem. It’s evident that you’ve acquired so much misinformation, that you want to share the surplus with others.
先生，我非常同情你的问题，很显然你得到的错误信息太多了，想要别人把多余的分担一些。
注：你演讲时如果有人问一些不着边际的问题，你这样应答。
